Jake's Diner--Old School Central Oregon

I just got done reading the most current post on "Diner Life" @ http://jakesdiner.blogspot.com/. If you're not familiar, it's a blog written by a man named Lyle Hicks. Now I don't personally know Lyle, but I know a few things about him.

I know he was born in Bend, on Hospital Hill, a good while ago (so was I). I also know that he does a lot of good for the people of Central Oregon. He is involved in helping veterans, Habitat for Humanity, senior citizens, and as far as I can tell, many other groups and individuals in this area.

In his most current post (11/23/07), he tells of how he and his staff and volunteers, fed & entertained 350 senior citizens Thanksgiving dinner, AT COST! Nothing in it for them but the satisfaction that they helped some people out.

This is truly "Old School Central Oregon." It seems to me that many of the recent transplants to this region know nothing about helping thy neighbor. They do, however, know a boatload about helping themselves. And that appears to be the only thing that they do know about. Yes I know that there are a lot of new people living here that have a lot of giving in them. And I also know that there are some old-timers around that are just pure mean. But I guess why I take note of this, and what disturbs me the most, is the trend. People in C.O. just aren't as nice to one another as they used to be. And in my case this often causes two reactions, sorrow and anger.

Sad not for the growth in C.O. We have first rate medical facilities, much better restaurants, stores, cultural activities, etc., etc., etc. In many, many ways, C.O. is a richer and more diverse area than it used to be. No, it makes me sad when I have to deal with a bunch of fucking assholes. The majority of which, came from somewhere else.

It used to be that when waves of people moved to this area, they acclimated. They liked the way things were here and tried hard to fit in. Now, this new breed of selfish fucker, wants to move here and have everyone here adapt to fit into their little bullshit, selfish, meaningless lives. If you can't tell, that's where the anger comes in.

But enough of that, let me get back to Lyle and his friends. He's a good man, and stands for what C.O. was, and should still be, about. You should read his blog. You should dine at Jake's Diner. You should strive to be more like these people, and help to support them. Whether it's with their cause, or your own. I DO!

Tuscany Pines...Welcome Home!

I just had the not-so-distinct pleasure of meeting two of the stupidest fuckers in all of Central Oregon. Their names are Jason McAlister and Sheri Herrick. No, I didn't meet them in person. I was reading BendBubble2(http://bendbubble2.blogspot.com/2007/11/rip-breeze-wurzels-plaza-we-hardly-knew.html) and saw mention of a real estate development called Tuscany Pines. I Googled it and poked around the web site a bit.

Let me give you just a few reason why these two smiley faced, yuppy fucks, are such stupid bastards. First of all, they're just now getting into the nuts and bolts of building what looks to be a pretty good sized development, at about the worst time to do so in the last 25 years. The real estate mkt. in this area is tanking, and going to continue to do so for probably the next 3 years, or more. Everytime I see "What's Going Up" on the front of The Bulletin's business section recently, I just have too sit back and chuckle to myself and think...those stupid mother fuckers. NOBODY SHOULD BE BUILDING ANYTHING IN THIS REGION RIGHT NOW!

And folks, that Tuscan themed bullshit is sooooo played out. Fuck, you might as well build Shire 2 (in 3D). "Tuscany Pines is a unique walled community of 99 Tuscan-style town homes on 11 acres of gently rolling meadows full of old growth ponderosa pine trees. The site design is a result of joint efforts between the developers, engineers and arborists. More than 70% of the large trees are preserved and protected to enhance the livability of the community and our neighborhood." --- Just how many rolling meadows and old growth ponderosas can you really put on 11 acres, anyway? Especially when its got 99 godawful townhouses, a clubhouse, and a pool on it! Oh but wait, there's more.

These two are probably the most highly qualified real estate developers on the planet. Get this, he's a professional snowboarder and she's a fucking T.V. anchorwoman. I shit you not. But it says that Jason has been mentored by his daddy-in-law Pat Gisler...and that Pat and his family have over 100 years of successful experience in all aspects of real estate. Well no shit. My god, if Pat Gisler is still alive, he's most likely well over 100 years old all by himself. Hell, I think I even saw Willard Scott with his picture on a jar of strawberry jam the other day.

Then came the piece of the puzzle that set my mind at ease. These beauties are going to be sold by none other that the famous Cate Cushman, of Cushman and Tubbs. Cate the one who reportedly thought that Matt Tomseth was just another Les Schwab tire monkey and sent him on down the road when he and Diana were looking at places in Broken Top.(Way to do your homework, Cate.) Jason, if your a bettin' man, I'll put up Matt's grand-daddy-in-law, even though I know he's gone, agin Ol Pat, any day! That's all just rumor, mind you.

Bob Slawson, May He Rest in Peace

Central Oregon lost one of its finest citizens recently. Mr. Bob Slawson was just shy of his 100th birthday, and has done as much for the people of this region as anyone that I know. He was a tireless volunteer for Bend senior citizens, and founded the local Meals on Wheels chapter. He personally was responsible for feeding thousands of meals to area needy. Beside all that, he was one hell of a nice man. I'll miss him deeply, and Central Oregon won't be the same without him. There's a nice story about him on the front page of today's (10/3) Bend Bulletin.

Redmond's Lucky To Have New Wal Mart

I went to the new Wal Mart in Redmond today, and it was very nice. The parking lot was nice and friendly to use, and the building was attractive, both inside and out. The employees, to a person, were friendly, courteous and helpful. The selection of just about everything that a person might need was almost overwhelming. The prices were very reasonable, though I don't claim to be the world's best comparison shopper. The only real problem that I could see with the whole thing is, that by all rights, that store should be in Bend.

And it would be in Bend if it weren't for the likes of a regular who's who of NIMBY assholes that live in Bend. Call them Central Oregon Jobs with Justice, Our Community First, notanotherwalmart.org, or just plain ASSHOLES, it's all the same. A bunch of pricks that used all kinds of excuses to keep what they consider just another ugly box store out of their precious back yards.

Led by the likes of some guy named Michael Fuck (or Funke?), Anne Philiben?, and a bunch of other idiots, this group ultimately got it's way. It's amazing that on their web page they state that their #1 goal is to "stop the siting of a Wal-Mart Superstore in Central Oregon."--yet the minute Wal Mart chose to build in Redmond and not Bend, they basically shut up. So I guess "Central Oregon" to all of these folks was pretty much that portion of C.O. that's within just a few miles of where they are.

I gotta tell ya, I haven't heard of any police calls re: the people in Wal Mart's Human Resources dept. holding guns to the heads of those who applied to work there. And I didn't see anyone working at the store that looked fearful of the ramifications of quitting their job and walking right out the front door of the place. Hell, most everyone I saw working there seemed to be pretty happy, inspite of the large #'s of people shopping there.

Oh, and there were lots of people shopping there. I understand that since the store is brand new, it's prolly gonna get some lookie lous. Hell, I guess that I was one of them to some degree. I and many others will most likely go back to our regular shopping habits at other stores. For me personally, the Redmond store is just too far away for most of my shopping. But for a bunch of those people, many of whom looked to me like they weren't particularly wealthy, that store is a godsend. And just as people from Burns and many points east shop at Costco, folks from Madras, Terrebonne, etc., will shop at this new Wal Mart.

Sure Wal Mart isn't the highest wage payer in the region, but at least the people that work there now have a wage, and some other benefits as well, I'm sure. And they're not just out there sucking off the government tit. The employees there also have a little something else...job security. Ask the guy that made a "living wage" as a dry waller for the local contractor how he likes his job now. Chances are his job dried up, and if he was smart enough to save even a little money, he's probably thankful to have an affordable place like Wal Mart to do his shopping.

So I guess that Michael Fuck, Anne Fillmybun, Geoffrey Wheeler-Bartol (yes, a man with a hyphenated name), Bruce Levine (L.A.), Toby Bayard (Portland), and the rest and the rest of you NIMBY fuckers have won. And everyone who has complained about not being able to live in Bend 'cause the cost of living is so high, lost. Go shop at Newport Market!

Downtown Redmond Needs a Brand

So some folks in Redmond are holding a contest to create a "brand" or slogan for what they hope will be the new and improved downtown. They're even offering $5oo. One of the guys, named Dow, says that every town needs a brand. I couldn't agree less. Some of the greatest towns and cities in the world don't have brands...hell, none of them do. They should spend the money on flowers, or paint, or anything that will make downtown Redmond more beautiful. (or even just a little bit beautiful) Having said that, I think I can help.

Now don't get me wrong, I really like Redmond. I shop there often and go out to many of the finer restaurants there. (the deli counter at Freddy's is quite good) But as a youth who grew up in Bend, I was taught at an early age to hate Redmond. They were the Panthers, and we were the Lava Bears. We also hated Prunetown, Madras, Pendleton (Bury the Bucks) and anyone else that wasn't a Lava Bear.

So with that in mind, here are my contributions to the list of potential slogans that will represent downtown Redmond. They're in no particular order.

1- Redmond, Still a Shithole
2- Redmond, Bend's Whipping Boy
3- Redmond, Gateway to Hell
4- Bend is Just 15 More Miles
5- Redmond, Frontera Del Norte
6- Downtown Redmond, Don't Blink
7- Redmond, Where Sheep are Scared
8- Redmond, Blue Haired Capital of the World
9- Downtown Redmond-For Lease, For Lease, For Lease, For Lease
10-Downtown Redmond, A Thrill a Minute

Got any more?

Jack R. Wyatt -- Another guy with his head up his canal

O.K., here's another one from The Bulletin regarding the canals. Hot topic, I guess. This Jack R. Wyatt guy wrote an 'In My View' piece in today's editorial page. Seems he doesn't want the irrigation canals or, "man-made wild rivers" as he likes to call them, piped.

He argues the canals provide, "rapids, waterfalls, and the sound of cascading water." All of this for Mr. Wyatts personal enjoyment, apparently. Oh but wait, he plays the environmental card too, listing off no fewer than 11 species of birds and alluding to others that call the canals home. How he forgot the deer, elk, rock chucks, sage rats, common field mice, black labs, etc., is beyond me. I also wonder why if all of these animals are so reliant on the canals, how come we don't see thousands of dead animal carcasses littering the areas around them when the water is turned off in the winter.

He even suggests that the City Council take a walk along the canal so they could see what would actually be lost. Now there's a good idea, let's have the City Council walk the section of canal that runs behind Bill Dolf's house (my 8/31/07 post). If the City Council needs proof that a fireworks ban is necessary, let's see the nature loving Wyatt prancing around behind the home of the privacy loving Dolf, with a bunch of politicians in tow. Yeehaw!

Hey Mr. Wyatt, let me fill you in on a little secret pal...YOU LIVE IN A FUCKING DESERT! Yes they're pretty to look at, and yes the critters like 'em. But we only have a certain amount of water around here and we'd better damn well take care of it. Do you have any idea how much water is being constantly lost in those leaky old canals due to seepage and evaporation? Millions of gallons, daily. And if you think that anyone is going to get rich off of some sorta hydroelectic facility, buddy I want to know what part of the canal that you live on 'cause they sure must be growing some damn good mushrooms there.

Yes, I bet you can "...attest to fish in the canal." Hell I charged a couple of clients $6oo. for a half day guided trip on the Upper Yeoman Road section of that "man made wild river" last week. We pulled a 23 lb. native buck steelhead out of a nice little riffle up there. NOT! The only fish living in that man made, labyrinth of water don't belong there; they never have and never will.

And I just have one more quick question regarding your little story in the paper. Where in the hell did you come up with that $50,000. per home figure that you claim will be lost in home values if the canal is piped? Did you just pull that one out of your little bag of wisdom?

I will bet you money that at some point in the not so distant future that just about every canal and most of the larger ditches in this region will be piped. Chances are that we're going to have to do it whether we want to or not. And for the sake of a whole lotta people that are going to place a whole lotta demands on the finite amount of water here down the road, we ought to do it responsibly, with our heads held high. Not like a bunch of snivelling little pussies that don't want their pretty "backyard water features" to go away.

Bill Dolf -- King of the Canal Assholes

Have you read this one in The Bulletin? -- http://www.bendbulletin.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070831/NEWS0107/708310487/1001&nav_category=
It's about a guy named Bill Dolf , and his neighbors, that don't like people using the canal road behind his house. What a bunch of assholes. People have been using the "ditch rider" roads for as long as I can remember, for all sorts of recreational purposes. Some of them were even legal! Now a bunch of pricks move in and want to change what has always been. Probably 'cause they're offended by it. These are most likely the same people that are tossing garbage in the canals like it was going out of style. Hell, even the DA, Mike Dugan, uses the road for riding his bike...and has for years and years. Now this Dolf guy thinks Dugan is setting a bad example for the community. Well Dugan and I disagree with him. He's the one setting the bad example by being an un-neighborly dickhead.

Smiles Everyone

Yep, just like Mr. Roarke used to say to that stupid little fucker, Tattoo, "Smiles everyone!" That's why we've been put here in Central Oregon...God's country. So that we have plenty of reason to smile. But this blog isn't about bible thumpin' or God squadin'. Nope, it's about hell raisin' and saying whatever the fuck I want. I might even piss a few folks off in the process. GOOD!

Oh, by the way, if you're a Californicator or a Flatlander, please don't try and change things here to the way they are at home. We like it just the way it was. If it was good enough for you to move here, then just leave well enough alone. Just remember one simple rule...M.P.A.'s Go Home!