Abacus GC -- Building Butt Ugly With a View (or, Would You Like To Pet My Monkey?)

I drove out Newport Ave. the other day 'cause I hadn't been out that way for quite a while and I wanted to see what was going on. I cruised out past the Newport Mkt. and waved to Spike and Rudy on the way by. I drove about another block, rolled down my window and proceded to puke all over the side of my pick-up.

There, in all their full fledged putridity, where these ugly, boxy, pieces of shit!


These have to be the ugliest, most out of place, crap trap houses, in all of greater Bend Oregon. I hope to God in heaven above, that whatever school signed off on this guys architecture card, goes way, way out of business.

I don't give a shit if they are Eco-Friendly. I would quite honestly rather see a big, toxic gas emitting, pile of shit, stacked up right there. Yes folks, these things are that ugly.

And what in the hell is this "Newport District"? Oh, I get it, it makes little 'ol Bend sound sophisticated like some pretentious neighborhood back in Cali, or Portland, where the designers of this shit are most likely from...kinda like the Mission, or the Pearl. I'm sure soon enough they'll just start calling it the Port. Hell, if you continue to build crap like that all over that neighborhood, we might as well just call it the Shit.

Don't get me wrong, I'm as sick of "Craftsman Style" as the next guy...but this? This shit belongs in Germany. Dieter (the host of Sprokets) and his pet monkey would fit right into one of these things. And I do mean things.