Redmond's Lucky To Have New Wal Mart

I went to the new Wal Mart in Redmond today, and it was very nice. The parking lot was nice and friendly to use, and the building was attractive, both inside and out. The employees, to a person, were friendly, courteous and helpful. The selection of just about everything that a person might need was almost overwhelming. The prices were very reasonable, though I don't claim to be the world's best comparison shopper. The only real problem that I could see with the whole thing is, that by all rights, that store should be in Bend.

And it would be in Bend if it weren't for the likes of a regular who's who of NIMBY assholes that live in Bend. Call them Central Oregon Jobs with Justice, Our Community First, notanotherwalmart.org, or just plain ASSHOLES, it's all the same. A bunch of pricks that used all kinds of excuses to keep what they consider just another ugly box store out of their precious back yards.

Led by the likes of some guy named Michael Fuck (or Funke?), Anne Philiben?, and a bunch of other idiots, this group ultimately got it's way. It's amazing that on their web page they state that their #1 goal is to "stop the siting of a Wal-Mart Superstore in Central Oregon."--yet the minute Wal Mart chose to build in Redmond and not Bend, they basically shut up. So I guess "Central Oregon" to all of these folks was pretty much that portion of C.O. that's within just a few miles of where they are.

I gotta tell ya, I haven't heard of any police calls re: the people in Wal Mart's Human Resources dept. holding guns to the heads of those who applied to work there. And I didn't see anyone working at the store that looked fearful of the ramifications of quitting their job and walking right out the front door of the place. Hell, most everyone I saw working there seemed to be pretty happy, inspite of the large #'s of people shopping there.

Oh, and there were lots of people shopping there. I understand that since the store is brand new, it's prolly gonna get some lookie lous. Hell, I guess that I was one of them to some degree. I and many others will most likely go back to our regular shopping habits at other stores. For me personally, the Redmond store is just too far away for most of my shopping. But for a bunch of those people, many of whom looked to me like they weren't particularly wealthy, that store is a godsend. And just as people from Burns and many points east shop at Costco, folks from Madras, Terrebonne, etc., will shop at this new Wal Mart.

Sure Wal Mart isn't the highest wage payer in the region, but at least the people that work there now have a wage, and some other benefits as well, I'm sure. And they're not just out there sucking off the government tit. The employees there also have a little something else...job security. Ask the guy that made a "living wage" as a dry waller for the local contractor how he likes his job now. Chances are his job dried up, and if he was smart enough to save even a little money, he's probably thankful to have an affordable place like Wal Mart to do his shopping.

So I guess that Michael Fuck, Anne Fillmybun, Geoffrey Wheeler-Bartol (yes, a man with a hyphenated name), Bruce Levine (L.A.), Toby Bayard (Portland), and the rest and the rest of you NIMBY fuckers have won. And everyone who has complained about not being able to live in Bend 'cause the cost of living is so high, lost. Go shop at Newport Market!

Downtown Redmond Needs a Brand

So some folks in Redmond are holding a contest to create a "brand" or slogan for what they hope will be the new and improved downtown. They're even offering $5oo. One of the guys, named Dow, says that every town needs a brand. I couldn't agree less. Some of the greatest towns and cities in the world don't have brands...hell, none of them do. They should spend the money on flowers, or paint, or anything that will make downtown Redmond more beautiful. (or even just a little bit beautiful) Having said that, I think I can help.

Now don't get me wrong, I really like Redmond. I shop there often and go out to many of the finer restaurants there. (the deli counter at Freddy's is quite good) But as a youth who grew up in Bend, I was taught at an early age to hate Redmond. They were the Panthers, and we were the Lava Bears. We also hated Prunetown, Madras, Pendleton (Bury the Bucks) and anyone else that wasn't a Lava Bear.

So with that in mind, here are my contributions to the list of potential slogans that will represent downtown Redmond. They're in no particular order.

1- Redmond, Still a Shithole
2- Redmond, Bend's Whipping Boy
3- Redmond, Gateway to Hell
4- Bend is Just 15 More Miles
5- Redmond, Frontera Del Norte
6- Downtown Redmond, Don't Blink
7- Redmond, Where Sheep are Scared
8- Redmond, Blue Haired Capital of the World
9- Downtown Redmond-For Lease, For Lease, For Lease, For Lease
10-Downtown Redmond, A Thrill a Minute

Got any more?

Jack R. Wyatt -- Another guy with his head up his canal

O.K., here's another one from The Bulletin regarding the canals. Hot topic, I guess. This Jack R. Wyatt guy wrote an 'In My View' piece in today's editorial page. Seems he doesn't want the irrigation canals or, "man-made wild rivers" as he likes to call them, piped.

He argues the canals provide, "rapids, waterfalls, and the sound of cascading water." All of this for Mr. Wyatts personal enjoyment, apparently. Oh but wait, he plays the environmental card too, listing off no fewer than 11 species of birds and alluding to others that call the canals home. How he forgot the deer, elk, rock chucks, sage rats, common field mice, black labs, etc., is beyond me. I also wonder why if all of these animals are so reliant on the canals, how come we don't see thousands of dead animal carcasses littering the areas around them when the water is turned off in the winter.

He even suggests that the City Council take a walk along the canal so they could see what would actually be lost. Now there's a good idea, let's have the City Council walk the section of canal that runs behind Bill Dolf's house (my 8/31/07 post). If the City Council needs proof that a fireworks ban is necessary, let's see the nature loving Wyatt prancing around behind the home of the privacy loving Dolf, with a bunch of politicians in tow. Yeehaw!

Hey Mr. Wyatt, let me fill you in on a little secret pal...YOU LIVE IN A FUCKING DESERT! Yes they're pretty to look at, and yes the critters like 'em. But we only have a certain amount of water around here and we'd better damn well take care of it. Do you have any idea how much water is being constantly lost in those leaky old canals due to seepage and evaporation? Millions of gallons, daily. And if you think that anyone is going to get rich off of some sorta hydroelectic facility, buddy I want to know what part of the canal that you live on 'cause they sure must be growing some damn good mushrooms there.

Yes, I bet you can "...attest to fish in the canal." Hell I charged a couple of clients $6oo. for a half day guided trip on the Upper Yeoman Road section of that "man made wild river" last week. We pulled a 23 lb. native buck steelhead out of a nice little riffle up there. NOT! The only fish living in that man made, labyrinth of water don't belong there; they never have and never will.

And I just have one more quick question regarding your little story in the paper. Where in the hell did you come up with that $50,000. per home figure that you claim will be lost in home values if the canal is piped? Did you just pull that one out of your little bag of wisdom?

I will bet you money that at some point in the not so distant future that just about every canal and most of the larger ditches in this region will be piped. Chances are that we're going to have to do it whether we want to or not. And for the sake of a whole lotta people that are going to place a whole lotta demands on the finite amount of water here down the road, we ought to do it responsibly, with our heads held high. Not like a bunch of snivelling little pussies that don't want their pretty "backyard water features" to go away.