Downtown Redmond Needs a Brand

So some folks in Redmond are holding a contest to create a "brand" or slogan for what they hope will be the new and improved downtown. They're even offering $5oo. One of the guys, named Dow, says that every town needs a brand. I couldn't agree less. Some of the greatest towns and cities in the world don't have brands...hell, none of them do. They should spend the money on flowers, or paint, or anything that will make downtown Redmond more beautiful. (or even just a little bit beautiful) Having said that, I think I can help.

Now don't get me wrong, I really like Redmond. I shop there often and go out to many of the finer restaurants there. (the deli counter at Freddy's is quite good) But as a youth who grew up in Bend, I was taught at an early age to hate Redmond. They were the Panthers, and we were the Lava Bears. We also hated Prunetown, Madras, Pendleton (Bury the Bucks) and anyone else that wasn't a Lava Bear.

So with that in mind, here are my contributions to the list of potential slogans that will represent downtown Redmond. They're in no particular order.

1- Redmond, Still a Shithole
2- Redmond, Bend's Whipping Boy
3- Redmond, Gateway to Hell
4- Bend is Just 15 More Miles
5- Redmond, Frontera Del Norte
6- Downtown Redmond, Don't Blink
7- Redmond, Where Sheep are Scared
8- Redmond, Blue Haired Capital of the World
9- Downtown Redmond-For Lease, For Lease, For Lease, For Lease
10-Downtown Redmond, A Thrill a Minute

Got any more?